Fins and the Legman 4: The July 4th Mystery
by Boolia
Summary: Someone is out and about burning people's American flags! Can the Fins and the Legman find out whoever's doing this, and place them behind bars before the nation's birthday? The Declaration of Independence also gets stolen!
1. Chapter 1

Fins and The Legman 4: The July 4th Mystery

Chapter 1

_"Hey, Dad!"_ Steve greeted his father on the front lawn. His father was tying the American flag back on the flagpole. "What are you doing?"

"I'm putting the American flag back on the flagpole, son." Stan answered.

"I can see that. When I left for Snot's, I realized the flag wasn't on the flagpole. Why was that?"

"Bird pooped on it." Steve looked disgusted.

_"Ew_."

"'Ew' is right. Your mom noticed it and saw it happen, so we brought it in and put it in the laundry and then the dryer. Now, it's good as new, ready for America's birthday." He looked at his son. "So, what's new with you? You must be excited about your camping trip with your friends."

"Boy, am I _ever!_ We planned it for months, and now we're going! It feels like only yesterday since Barry suggested it. _Man_, how time flies."

"Glad you're excited, son." He looked back at the flagpole and pulled the flag all the way up. He saluted as it blew in the wind. "_Aw_, America. May you fly on forever." He then stated singing _You're a Grand Old Flag_. "_You're a grand old flag. You're a high-flying flag. And forever in peace may you wave_!" He looked at his son. "Son, _sing _it with me! You too, readers!"

"Okay." With that, Steve sang with his father while saluting the flag. "_You're the emblem of the land I love, the home of the free and the brave!_"

_"Hello Smiths_!" Greg greeted them when he passed by their house. He had Heath Ledger, their French bulldog, on a leash. His partner, Terri was next to him, pushing Libby in a stroller. "Nice day out to be out and about, huh?"

"Yes, it is."

_"Say,"_ Terri said, looking at the American flag. "Did you guys hear about people's American flags catching on fire?" Stan then frowned.

"No."

"Well, recently there have been numerous reports on people who had to throw away their American flags because they were burned to ashes.."

"That's awful. I missed the news this morning."

"We didn't."

"We _never_ miss the news!" Terri added.

"Well, good for you. I'll see if I can find something about it later."

"So, you better watch over your flag, Stan." Greg spoke.

"Yeah, you better." Terri chipped in.

"Okay." Stan said. "I will. Thanks for the advice." They then said their goodbyes, and Stan and Steve went into the house.

_"Dad_?" Steve asked his father when they were in. Klaus was on the table in his fish bowl. "Didn't you hear what Greg said? Aren't you going to take the flag in?"

_"Son_," Stan started. "I just got it back out."

_"But_, if you leave it outside, someone might come and set it on fire."

"Set _what_ on fire?" Francine wanted to know, coming in from the kitchen. Stan turned to his wife.

_"Oh_, Greg said that someone has been burning people's American flags." Francine's eyes widened.

"How _awful_! Who would _do_ such a thing?"

"I don't know. Someone who doesn't like America I assume." The family then all gazed at Klaus.

_"What_?" The fish spoke. "You think _I_ did it? _Hello_, I'm a fish with no hands and legs! And I don't hate America, true I like Germany more, but I wouldn't go so low as going berserk by burning people's American flags. How _dare_ you even think I would do such a thing!"

"Okay Klaus, _relax!_" Stan told him. "We know you didn't do it." Klaus was then puzzled.

"Then, why did you and Francine look at me like that?" He wanted to know.

"We were just messing with you and making sure you didn't do it. You could find a way."

_"How_?" Stan shrugged.

"Pay someone to do it for you, maybe?"

"I told you I didn't do it!" Roger then came in.

"I heard you yelling at the fish." Roger said. "What did he do?"

"_Nothing_!" Klaus told him. "Stan and Francine think that since I'm not an American that I hate this country, and I burned people's American flags."

"Did you?"

"_No!_"

"You hate America?"

"_No_!"

"Oh, did you pay someone to do it for you?"

_"No_; I'm not involved with this flag burning whatsoever! I didn't even know someone was out and about burning people's flags. Did _you_ burn those flags?"

"No!"

"Do you hate America?" Roger shrugged.

"It's okay."

"Did you pay som…"

"_No_! " Klaus looked at Stan.

"It's not nice to blame people. Stan." He said to the CIA agent. "Or fish."

"Okay, I'm sorry Klaus." Stan said. "Francine and I just looked at you that's all, you know, in case you did do it."

"But I _didn't_!"

"_Okay, okay;_ I'm sorry I brought it up. You didn't do it, end of discussion, but you could've." Klaus was about to argue some more, when Steve spoke up.

"I hope this doesn't lead to a mystery." He said. "Because I can't be Wheels. I got to go camping with my friends."

_"Don't worry_," Roger told him. "I'll leave the real detectives to it this time" Steve smiled and left the room. Roger then leaned in to whisper to Klaus.

"If this _does _lead to a mystery, we're going to take the case."

"Steve will be upset you know."

_"Not_ if he doesn't find out." He winked at him.

"_Ohhhhhhh_! Got you!" Klaus winked back.

The microwave in the kitchen then beeped.

_"Dinnertime_!" Francine announced.

"_Dad_," Steve said to him, coming to the kitchen. "Someone should eat their dinner out here, in case someone comes for the flag." Stan nodded.

"I'm on it, son." He told him. He looked over at Klaus. "Klaus, keep an eye out on the flag. If someone comes, tell us and I'll make sure he or she feel sorry that they ever set foot on our front lawn."

"By shooting them?" Stan looked insulted at this.

"No; what kind of person do you think I am? I'll simply yell at them to leave, if they refuse to leave, I'll threaten them, if they still refuse to leave, I'll give them a warning, and then after all that if they still refuse, _then_ I'll shoot them!"

"Okay, but I need to eat to."

"I'll bring you some food. We'll move the table over to the window too, so you can easily look out.'

Stan, with Hayley's help, moved the end table over to the window. The family then went to the kitchen to eat. Klaus looked at the flagpole out front.

"I'll go check on the flag." Stan told his family after he finished his dinner. He excused himself and left the kitchen. He sighed at when he saw that the flag was still in one piece.

"How's the flag, Dad?" Steve asked his father, coming beside him.

"It's fine, son." Stan told him.

"That's good. But, someone could still come. We should still be on the lookout." Stan nodded in agreement.

"I agree, Steve. I'm on it." He looked at Klaus. Klaus sighed and looked at him.

"I know, I know. You still want me to be the lookout." Stan smiled.

"That's a good fish." He said.

_"Well,"_ Stan said when he got off the couch. "I'm going to bed." He looked at Klaus. "You know what to do, Klaus."

_"But, but_, I've been looking at it for _hours_!" Klaus protested. He yawned. "I'm tired! Can't _you _be the lookout?"

"Can't. I'm tired too. Besides you were doing a good job at it. Tell you what, if you watch the flag all night and nothing bad happens, I'll transfer your brain back into a human's." Klaus was shocked.

_"Really? Boy_, that'll be so… okay, calm down Klaus, he's not going to do it. He just said that so you'd stay up all night and do what he wants." Stan frowned.

"How do you know I'll…yup, not going to happen. Just don't fall asleep and keep your eyes on the flag." He went to the stairs.

"Don't worry, Stan. I'll keep mien eyes on it. You have my word." He looked out the window again at the flagpole. "

"Good. See you in the morning."

"See you in the morning, Stan!" Stan hesitated and went up the stairs.

"_Klaus_!" Stan shouted at the sleeping fish the next morning. "_Klaus, get up_!" Klaus awoke with a yawn.

_"Guten Morgen_!" He greeted his family. He then realized he wasn't doing what he was assigned to. "_Oh mien gosh_; _the flag_!" He looked out the window and sighed when he saw that the flag was still there. "Oh good, the flag's still there. I did a good job."

_"Good job? Good job_? You did a _bad_ job, you fell asleep when I clearly remember telling you not to."

"But _nothing_ happened!"

"Yes, nothing happened. But, something _could've_ happened! You need to be more careful. The house could burn down to the ground, or someone could come and kill us all, or a tornado, or any kind of natural disaster could've happened, and you wouldn't know about it because you'd have slept right through it."

"Well, I can't help it if I was tired! Look, nothing bad happened and that's the main thing, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah. But I said it _could_…."

"Stan, give it a _rest_!" Francine scolded her husband. "True, something _could've _happened, but it didn't! Now, can we just go eat breakfast?" Stan sighed.

_"Fine_!" He followed his wife, Roger, and his kids into the kitchen. He then went back and pointed a mean finger at the fish.

"Don't look away from that flagpole!"

"You worry too much, Stan. I'll never look away once. You have my word."

"I _better_!" With that, Stan went into the kitchen. Klaus was about to look out the window, when he noticed the newspaper beside him. "Oh look, the paper's here! I wonder if that article on the burning flags is in here." With that, he grabbed the newspaper and flipped the pages, completely forgetting to look out the window. "_Aw,_ here it is!"

"_Okay Klaus,"_ Stan said, coming in with Klaus' breakfast and his coffee "We're done with breakfast and here's yours." The rest of the family gasped as what they saw out of the window. The American flag was on fire!

"_Dad!_" Hayley shouted, pointing out the window. "The _flag!_" Stan looked out the window and gasped. He dropped Klaus' breakfast and coffee onto the floor, making a mess. Klaus finished the article and looked at his family.

"Well, I'm done with the article." He noticed his family's expressions. _"What_? What are you all looking at?" He looked out the window and gasped as well. "_Oh my gosh;_ the window! I was so absorbed in this story about someone burning people's American flags that I forgot to see if ours is safe." He looked back at his family and smiled innocently with a nervous laugh.

"And I said 'you have my word', clumsy me. I'm such a dummkoph." Steve looked at his father.

"Can you save it, Dad?" He asked.

"I don't know, son." Stan answered. "But I sure as heck will try!" He ran to the door, opened it, and ran outside. The rest of the family followed.

Stan grabbed the hose and ran to the flagpole with the burning flag. He was about to turn it on, when it was too late. The flag had burned to a crisp.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Stan frowned. He picked up the ashes of the flag and looked at his family.

"It's too late." He said sadly. "It's gone." He looked at the sky and threw his hands in the air. "_NOOOOOO_!" He cried in his hands. Francine went to comfort her husband.

_"There, there_." She consoled. "It's just a flag. No need to make a big deal out of this."

"_Klaus!_" Stan said, ignoring his wife. He stood up and stomped back towards the house.

_"Stan_!" Francine called after her husband, going after him. The kids and Roger followed.

"Klaus!" Stan repeated, inside, He looked around. "Klaus, where are you?" Klaus, in his cup, hid behind the throw pillows on the couch. "Klaus, I know you're here! You can't hide. Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"Stan." Francine said, coming in. "Don't be too hard on him. It's just a flag." Stan looked at his wife like she had lost it.

"Just a flag?_ Just_ a flag? Honey, how can you _say_ that? It's a symbol of the greatest country that is America. It's a symbol of freedom, and the many brave people who fought and died fighting for it. Now, help me find that son of a b- word, Klaus."

"_Well,"_ Roger piped up, going to the couch. "While you guys find the fish, I'm going to lay on the couch." He jumped on the couch and lay on the pillow. Klaus's cup tipped over a little.

"Stan_, look_!" His wife told him, pointing at the water now on the floor where Roger was. Roger noticed the water.

"That's funny." He said. "I didn't know I was pregnant." He then snapped his fingers, "I'll name my baby Roger Jr!"

"What if it's a girl?" Steve wanted to know. Roger thought about this.

"Martha." He replied.

"Roger's not pregnant!" Stan said. He pulled the pillow away to reveal Klaus underneath.

"_Hey!"_ Roger snapped. He then noticed the fish. "_Klaus?"_ He looked at Stan again. "I found the fish." Klaus looked at his family and smiled innocently.

_"Hey_!" He said. "You found me! Isn't Hide and Seek such a wunderbar game?" He then noticed Stan's solemn expression. Klaus frowned.

"You had one job." Stan said. "_One_ job! Keep your eyes on the flag, and you failed. And because of that, the flag burned to ashes." Klaus sighed.

"I'm sorry, Stan. I know how much that flag meant to you. But you know, the newspaper was there. If the newspaper wasn't there, I wouldn't have been tempted to…"

_"NO EXCUSES_!" Klaus gulped.

_"Stan_," Francine told him. "We can buy a new flag."

"We just brought one. An American one since that All-American Act passed.

"Well, we just to buy a new one." Francine said. "One that was made in China. Those are much cheaper."

"_NO_! We _have _to buy an all-American one!" Stan barked.

"_Why_?" Hayley asked. "I think that's only for the military that only have to have all-American flags."

"Hayley, we live in America. I will _not_ have an American flag out there that was made in a foreign country!"

"What is my punishment?" Klaus asked. Stan was about to answer him when the doorbell rang.

"That must be my friends!" Steve announced. He went upstairs to get his camping stuff.

"Saved by the bell." Stan said to Klaus. The fish sighed in relief as Stan looked up to the door.

"Tell my friends I'll be down in a minute." Steve continued. "Oh, and remember Roger, no mystery without me."

"No mystery without you." Roger said, nodding. "Gotcha!" He quickly ducked into the kitchen. Francine opened the door and Snot stood on the other side.

"Why, hello Snot." Francine greeted Steve's friend.

"Hello Mrs. Smith." Snot greeted back. "Is Steve here?"

"He's getting ready." Snot noticed Stan.

"Hello, Mr. Smith."

"Hi, Snot." Stan said to him. "So, camping huh?" Snot nodded.

"Yeah."

"Good. Good for you guys. You going to go fishing?"

"Yep."

"River rafting?"

"If we can find a raft."

"You going to eat some s'mores over a bonfire and tell ghost stories?"

"Yeah"

"Hiking?"

"Yeah, we're going to do all that jazz." He shouted up to Steve. _"HEY STEVE!_ COME ON OR WE'LL BE LATE FOR THE FISH!"

"_Coming!"_ Steve hollered from upstairs.

"One thing," Stan continued. 'While you're camping, can you turn Steve into a man?" Snot was about to answer, when Steve came down the steps, backpack on his back. He was also carrying a sleeping bag and a fishing rod.

"I'm ready!" He announced. Steve was about to go when Francine stood in his way.

"Did you pack your bug spray?" She wanted to know.

"Yes, Mom." Steve answered his mom.

"Toothpaste and toothbrush?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Sunscreen?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Clean underwear and spare underwear in case…" Steve was now irritated.

"_Yes, Mom_, I have _everything_ I need in my backpack." Francine smiled.

"Okay then." She kissed him. "Be safe and have fun!" Steve then went to the door with Snot.

"Okay, I will! Bye, Mom, bye, Dad, bye, Hayley! Tell me how America did in the world cup when I get back."

"The world cup is going on?" Klaus wanted to know. He looked at Stan. "You didn't tell me. I want to know about Germany! I hope they win. If they do, I'll buy champagne for _everyone!" _Francine glared at him. He gave out a nervous laugh_. _"who's over 21." Francine smiled and looked back at her son.

"I will, son." Stan promised, ignoring Klaus.

_"Bye, Smiths!"_ Snot added and left after his friend. The door closed behind them.

"Four days without my baby." Francine spoke. "Less then 96 hours. Out in the woods with just his friends." She then gasped. "What if a rapid wolverine attacks him, or he gets mauled by a bear, or, or what if he gets strung to death by a swarm of bees, or all three?" She looked at her husband. "Oh Stan, did we do the right thing? Maybe I should go after them and take Steve back home so I'll know he'll be safe and sound because he'll be in his mommy's loving, protective arms." Stan took Francine's hands in his.

"_Francine,"_ He started. Don't worry; he'll be fine."

"But what if…"

"Francine, you just have to have faith." She sighed.

"You're right, but what if…?

"Francine."

` "Right. Got to be strong."

"That's right."

Stan had forgotten his argument with Klaus and Klaus was just fine with that.

It wasn't until after dinner and when they were watching the World Cup in Brazil on TV when Stan spoke up.

"Oh Klaus, I almost forgot to give you your punishment." Klaus let out a groan. He hoped that Stan would've forgotten about it completely.

"Do you have to?" Klaus asked.

`Yes. You let our flag burn. That can't go unpunished." Klaus sighed.

"Fine, but I didn't burn those other flags.

"For the last time, I know. But, that doesn't take you off my suspect list."

"You have a suspect list?

"Oh yes, in my head. You are all on it."

"Even Francine?" Stan nodded. Francine was shocked to hear that her own husband would think of her as a suspect.

"_What!?"_ She demanded to know. Stan shrugged.

"Sorry, honey." He apologized. "But until I know for sure, you're a suspect."

"How _dare_ you say that?! I'm your wife! You're on _my_ suspect list!"

"Okay, but I didn't do it."

"I didn't do it, either!"

"Can we stop playing the 'blame game?'" Hayley asked. "It's not helping and it's getting old fast."

"Sure, Hayley." Stan said. "But, you are…."

"I know, I know. I'm on your suspect list just like everyone else."

"Bingo." They looked at the TV again as time ran out with Belgium beating the U.S. by one.

"_Aw_!" Francine said. "America lost."

"Well_, that's_ it!" The announcer said on the TV. "Belgium has beaten the United States, 2-1. The United States of America is now out of the World Cup."

"But Germany is still in, right?" Klaus spoke.

"Well, the World Cup has just got boring." Stan said, ignoring him again. "Let's see what Greg and Terri are reporting on." Stan grabbed the remote and flipped to the news.

"News update on the burning American flags case." Terri said on TV. "We may have our guy who has been burning American flags all throughout Virginia." The family gasped, eager to find out what was coming next.

"Or bird!" Greg added. Stan was puzzled.

"Or bird?" He asked out loud. "What does he mean by that?"

"I bet you're wondering, Greg Corbin, what the heck are you talking about?" Greg continued. Stan nodded.

"Yes, what the heck _are_ you talking about, Greg?"

"Well, I think this YouTube video will better explain it." A YouTube video was then showed. Someone's front yard was shown. A cry was heard and a bald eagle flew in and headed towards the flag. It had a lit match in its talons. The family all gasped at what happened next. The eagle put the fire to the flag, causing it to catch on fire. The eagle did another cry, and flew off. The American flag had turned to nothing but ashes. The video then ended.

"And there you have it folks." Terri spoke. "It seems our culprit is an eagle, the very symbol of America."

"Your American flags will not be safe with that psychotic eagle about. So, if you see this eagle, the Capitol of Virginia says to shoot it down, despite it being illegal. America will thank you and you will not go to jail and prison." He looked at Terri. "Hey Terri, don't you find it odd that an eagle has a match in its talons?"

"Yes Greg, it _is_ weird. But it does, and that is all we have for you for now. We'll be back with updates when they come up." Francine turned off the TV with the remote.

"_Well,"_ Stan said, standing up. "I'm going to get my gun and shoot that bird out of the sky."

"_Oh Stan_!" Klaus spoke. "You and guns!" Stan glared at him.

"_Shut up, Klaus_! You heard what Greg said. The Capital of Virginia ordered it."

"_Ja,_ but you still would've regardless if The Capital of Virginia ordered it or not."

"Well yeah, I would. I want Virginia 's American flags safe."

"How do you know it'll come back here?" Francine wanted to know.

"I don't." Stan admitted. "That's why I'm going to get in my car and drive all over to look for it. "

"But that could take _forever!"_ Stan shrugged.

"It could. But the American flags of Virginia will thank me."

"What if someone else shoots it down?"

"If someone else shoots it down, it'll be on the news. Call me and I'll come home." With that, he went off.

"_Hmmm_," Klaus thought out loud. "Greg's right. An eagle can't do this on its own free will. Something's up."

"What're you talking about fish?" Roger wanted to know.

"Well, an eagle just can't decide to burn American flags, someone must've trained it and ordered it to.

"Just like you couldn't have burned them because you being a fish?" Klaus

glared at him.

"_Shut up!_ Don't you start that again." Roger held his hands up in defense.

"_Whoa, whoa, okay_!" He then pondered out loud. "_Hmmm_, much as I hate to

say it, you might be right, fish about someone training and ordering that eagle to burn all of those flags."

"Looks like a mystery is about to unfold." Roger shook his head

"No, no, I promised Steve that I wouldn't solve a mystery without him." Klaus was disappointed.

"_Come on!_ Since when do you keep promises?"

"Since now." Klaus let out a groan.

When Stan drove pass W-ANG Studios where Terri and Greg worked at, he decided to tell them something. He saw them drive out. He drove near their car and brought down his window so he could talk. Greg and Terri's car stopped and they pulled down their window as well. Terri, who was driving, peered out the window.

"_Greg, Terri_!" Stan greeted.

"Oh, hi Stan!" Both Greg and Terri said back.

"So, going home after a long day's work, huh?" The two partners nodded.

"Got to pick Libby up from Day-Care." Terri said.

"And then we're going to watch her in her first fencing competition," Gregg added. "and then we're going to the zoo as a special reward."

"But what if she doesn't win?"

"It's doesn't matter if you win or lose, Stan. We want to teach Libby that if you try your best, you'll always be a winner."

"Well, that's nice. Say did you hear on the news about that eagle being the culprit behind all of those American Flag burnings, because…" He pointed to himself. _"This_ guy did!"

"Good for you Stan."

"Did you also catch the bit about the Declaration of Independence being stolen from the National Archives." Stan's jaw dropped.

"_What_?"

"It was reported just after we ended the news. Greg and I were about to go home when we found out."

"Oh no, no I didn't. Well, I'll be on the lookout if it shows up here." Greg then noticed the gun in the seat next to Stan.

"Are you going to look for that eagle and shoot it down?" Greg wanted to know. Stan patted the gun.

"Yep. I am. I'm going to stay up and look all night if I have to."

"You do know that could take forever, right?"

"That's what Francine is worried about. But as you said, no American flag will be safe with that psychotic eagle about."

"Right. But, what if that eagle gets shot down while you're out here?"

"You guys will cover it on the news, right?"

"Right."

"My wife will tell me and then, and _only _then, will I come home."

"You mean you won't sleep?" Stan shook his head.

"_Nope_! I'll drink lots of coffee and Mountain Dew to keep me awake."

"Okay. Well, good luck!"

"_Good luck_!" Terri added. They then drove off. Stan drove off as well.

"Well, that makes it official." Roger said to Klaus after he heard the 'special report' on CBS when _Elementary _came back on. "Klaus, get ready for another episode of the Fins and the Legman!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"But you promised Steve that you wouldn't solve a mystery without him." Klaus said to Roger.

"I know, I know." The alien said. "But desperate times calls for desperate measures. Besides, since when do I keep promises?" Klaus shrugged. "Exactly!"

"This is so _wundarbar_! I _love _the Fins and the Legman."

"But, you didn't even like Wheels and the Legman. You listed your reasons why."

_ "Ja_, but that's because it didn't have _me_! I like it because A, it gives me

something to do, and B, I get to bond with you! Isn't that so _wundarbar_,

bonding with a goldfish?" Roger was about to answer when Klaus spoke again.

"Don't answer that. So, what are we going to do first?"

"Well, first we need to get on our outfits."

"Oh yeah. Say, do we really need our detective outfits? I mean, I know you

need a disguise because then you'll be discovered. But we can figure out the mystery either way, they don't have super powers to make us solve mysteries

better. So why do we?"

"It tells us who we are. Now, you don't have to get your outfits; I don't care

about your look. But, for me, I'd like to get my outfit."

"Okay, don't get mad. I'll get mine too. I was just asking is all."

A few minutes later, Roger carried Klaus back down in his cup. They were

both in their detective uniforms.

"Now what?" Klaus wanted to know.

"Well, I was thinking we could lure the eagle that's burning American flags. If

we follow it, we'll be sure to get the culprit! This will be our easiest case yet!"

"Good idea. How are we going to lure the eagle?"

"I was thinking live bait."

_"Wunderbar!_ You can tape a like a small camera on you or tracking device,

disguise yourself as a fish, the eagle snatches you, and hopefully I can locate you and

then we can put the man behind bars and the eagle could go to a bird sanctuary or

something." He noticed Roger looking at him. "No, I know, I'm the live bait. I knew it

when you said it. I was just hoping it wasn't the case."

"Well, it _is_ the case! And besides, you would make a better fish then me

because you are a fish."

"You got that right."

"_Okay Klaus,"_ Roger told him, taping something under his left fin. "This is very important. This is a tracking device. Don't you lose it. You let the eagle catch you and let it take you wherever, and from Hayley's laptop that she forgot to bring in when she took in in the car last night, I'll have your location then I'll come and get you. But, make sure it's the right one. If you see a match in its talons, you'll know. "Klaus saluted.

"_Roger that, Roger_!"

"_Okay_, first we need to find somewhere where's there's still an American flag."

Roger drove in Francine's car until he found a house that had a mini American flag jutting out just above the door. A doghouse stood in the front yard as well.

_Perfect_! Roger thought to himself. He parked the car, got out with Klaus, and put the fish directly under it.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?!" An angry man shouted, stomping over to them. Roger looked at him.

"Oh well, I'm a detective." He showed him his fake badge. "Braff Zacklin from The Fins and the Legman detective agency. My fish and I are here about the case of the burning American flags and the stolen Declaration of Independence." The man squinted at the badge.

"Is that badge real?" He asked. "Because it looks like you made it out of paper and colored it with crayons."

"How _dare_ you say this badge is fake! Because, it's real. It's real as can be." The man shrugged.

"Okay, if you say so. So, what are you two doing on my lawn?"

"Well, I saw that you still had an American flag."

"Yeah, what are you getting at?"

"I was going to lure that psychotic eagle here by making it go after my fish."

"So, you're going to sacrifice your pet?"

"I know it's harsh, but, yes I am."

"Won't you miss him?"

"I suppose. But, sometimes if you love something, you have to let it free."

"By letting it to be eaten?"

"Yes." Klaus was shocked by this.

"Why not get another fish or other prey that bald eagles feast on?" Roger began to get angry.

"Look, it's my plan, okay? I talked to my fish and he's okay with it." The man shrugged.

"Okay, but I think you're doing something wrong. I wouldn't sacrifice my Jack Russell Terrier, Jaclyn, even if my life were on the line. Oh, and make sure that eagle doesn't burn my flag." He then left.

"I don't want to get eaten!" Klaus said to Roger. "Besides, if I get eaten, how would I help you with the location where the eagle and the bad man is?"

"Relax fish, you won't get eaten….if you're lucky. I can't gaurantee it though. If you do get eaten, I can easily solve this case without you."

"No you can't!"

"Yes, I can. I don't have time to argue with you now. Just stay here and wait for the eagle with the match in its talons. When it drops you to wherever it drops you to wherever it takes you, I'll take it from there. I'll be in the bushes. _Good luck_!" And with that, Roger went to hide in the bushes. Klaus looked up at the sky.

Several hours passed with no such luck. Klaus' eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep. The man had tied his dog, Jaclyn, to her leash in front of the doghouse.

Klaus was awoken by a cry. He saw a bald eagle swooping at him. He looked at his talons, and sighed. No match.

"_NEIN, NEIN_!" He screamed. "I'm _not_ food!" He tried to get out of the way when the bird snatched him up. Klaus screamed as he held tightly to his cup, not wanting to lose it to the world below. Jaclyn barked below. Klaus looked at Roger who was sleeping in the bushes.

"_ROGER_! He yelled. "_ROGER! ABORT, ABORT_!" Roger woke up and looked all around.

"_Klaus?"_ He asked. "Klaus, where are you? He then looked up as the eagle did its cry again. He gasped when he saw Klaus in the eagle's talons and no match. He looked behind him at the flag. He looked back and started running after the eagle.

"Who knew this plan was going to go horribly wrong? _I'M COMING FOR YOU, FISH!" _

Behind him, the eagle with the match in its talons flew towards the flag. Jaclyn barked madly at it, going as far as she was able. The eagle ignored the dog, set the flag on fire, and flew off. The flag burned to ashes.

Klaus struggled and struggled to get free but couldn't get free from the eagle's talons.

"Excuse me, Mr. Eagle?" Klaus questioned. "I believe you have the wrong fish." The eagle ignored him and kept flying. Klaus sighed. He then saw Stan in his illegally parked SUV down below, pointing his gun, ready for any bald eagles that might fly by.

"Poor Stan. Still searching for that eagle."

The eagle then flew past Stan's windshield.

"_WHOA_!" Said a startled Stan. "A bald eagle!" He drove his SUV, stopping often to shoot his gun. "_DIE_ YOU ANTI-AMERICAN EAGLE!" He fired and fired his gun.

"_NIEN_, STAN!" Klaus screamed. _"NEIN_, NOT WITH ME IN ITS TELONS!" The eagle kept dodging the bullets or the bullets missed it completely. The eagle flew away in the distance as Stan ran out of bullets. Stan pounded the dashboard in frustration.

"_DANG IT_!" He cursed. He reloaded the gun and drove where the eagle flew off. "_I'LL CATCH YOU, BENEDICT ARNOLD WITH FEATHERS!" _

"Where are you taking me to?" Klaus asked the eagle. The eagle, of course, didn't answer. "I guess I'll find out when we get there." He then saw a tree. There was an eagle nest with eaglets chirping, eager for their meal. "Oh, you're a mom? That's nice." He then realized what this meant. He struggled harder than ever. He laughed nervously. "Like I said before, YOU HAVE THE WRONG FISH! _NEINNNNNN!_!" The eagle flew to the nest and dropped Klaus inside the nest. The eaglets all scrambled over to him. He grinned nervously at them. "You don't have to eat everything your mom catches for you, do you? You don't need to eat me, right? _Right?_" The eaglets did their cries and began fighting over him. _NEIIIINNNNNNN_!" They broke his cup and he began flopping up and down.

Suddenly, Klaus was snatched up by Roger, who had climbed the tree.

"I'm sorry, young eagles." He said. "But, no matter how much I want him too, my stupid fish friend isn't on the menu!" The eaglets went after Roger. The alien jumped down from the tree. The eaglets called from up the tree, for they didn't know how to fly yet. The mother eagle however could fly, and flew after Roger. Roger ran and ran as the eagle chased him.

They ran into a busy street. Roger ran to the other side and was lucky he didn't get hit. The eagle, however, wasn't so lucky, and cawed with fear as a SUV hit it.

"_THANKS STAN!"_ Roger called at Stan's SUV even though Stan couldn't hear. Roger put Klaus in a new zip-lock bag filled with water. "Here, I knew this would come in handy."

"Danke, Roger." Klaus thanked him once he got his breath back. "If you didn't do that risky, stupid thing that you just did right now, I would surly be a goner."

"_Yeah, yeah._ I just did it because if you died, I would have to look for another assistant, and that'll take time and work."

"Well, thanks anyways." He then changed the subject. "I feel bad for those eaglets though. They're now motherless and up on that nest."

"You're not going to cry like when Bambi's mother got shot off screen by that hunter, are you? That's the circle of life and in a movie. You're just going to have to suck it up, and no, we're not going to take those eaglelets home."

"I wasn't going to take those eaglets home."

"Good, because we're not." They walked on.

"Where are we going?" Klaus wanted to know.

"We have to find that eagle with the match in its talons." Roger said.

"_How_?" Roger shrugged.

"I don't know. Get lucky, I guess."

"What about the stolen Declaration of Independence?" Roger stopped and pondered about this, scratching his chin.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Klaus was shocked about this.

_"Forgot_? Isn't that the reason why we started this case?" Roger looked at Klaus.

"Klaus, flags are burning over here while the declaration was stolen in Washington D.C. we can't be at two places at once and I surely can't trust you alone."

They then heard a voice.

"Yes, sir." The voice said. "Every flag in Virginia has been burned."

"_Wait a minute_." Roger said. "This guy seems suspicious. Let's see where he is." Roger and Klaus went to the voice. As they looked the voice got louder, which meant that they were getting closer.

"Where do you want me to meet you?" There was a pause.

"There he is!" Klaus whispered to Roger, pointing a fin to a bald man in shades, talking on his cell phone. Roger looked at him from the bushes they were behind. "In your office in Washington D.C.? Got it." There was another pause. The man then had a confused expression on his face. "Is someone listening into our conversation? What do you mean by that?" They then heard a yell on the other end. It was so loud that the man held back his phone. He then put it close again and started walking. "Okay, okay, I'll look!" The man looked around then walked right towards the detectives!

_"Hide_!" Roger said. He ran away from the guy.

"Okay," Klaus added. "I'll hide where you're hiding considering I don't have a choice with you carrying me! I would've yelled that part if they're wasn't a guy looking for eavesdroppers." Roger and Klaus hid behind a tree,

"Okay, good." He looked out.

_"HELLO_!" The man called. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE SO CONSIDER YOURSELF CAUGHT AND COME OUT! COME ON, COME OUT! I'LL GIVE YOU THE COUNT OF THREE, ONE, TWO, _THREE!_" He looked behind bushes and went a bit further.

After looking for a few minutes, he gave up when he was close to the tree Roger and Klaus were behind. He put his cell phone back to his ear. "No, no one's here." He listened. "I'm absolutely positive 100 percent no one was eavesdropping. I checked." He listened some more. "Okay boss, I'll see you in Washington." He hung up his cell phone, put it away, and went off.

"Come on." Roger told Klaus. "We have to follow him." He went after him, careful not to get caught.

_"Again_," Klaus stated. "You're carrying me. I don't have a choice."

_"Quiet_, fish." Roger told him. "You're going to get us caught. You don't want me to just drop you here as I go and resume the case without you, do you?"

"Nein, I don't."

"Then, shut your yap."

They drove in Francine's car and followed the man's car.

_"Gosh_!" Klaus said a half hour later. "If I knew we'd go right away, I would've brought a book or some of Steve's portable video games to entertain me during the drive."

"And what kind of entertainment would, I, the _driver_, have?" Roger questioned.

"Uh, you get to see the scenery?" Klaus said.

"Oh yeah, how exciting…_not!_ If I don't have entertainment, you shouldn't have entertainment either! Just be happy that I bought you. Now, don't talk to me. I got to concentrate on the road." Klaus saluted.

_"Yes, sir_!"

They only were on the road for over an hour until the gaslight came on. Roger pounded the dashboard in frustration.

_"DANG IT_!" He cursed. "Now, we'll need more gas from a gas station."

A few minutes later, Klaus pointed one out.

"There's a gas station." He said. He then saw that the car that they were chasing turned into the same gas station. "Oooh; what wundabar timing! Our guy is getting gas too." Roger turned the corner to the gas station.

He parked at the gas pump directly across from the guy's. He opened the door and got out. He looked at the fish.

"Stay here. I'll be back when I get gas and get some snacks." Klaus saluted.

"Yes, sir! Oh, and give me some snacks too! " He then saw that the keys were still in the ignition. "Wait, the keys are…"But it was too late, Roger had already left. "still in the ignition." Klaus sighed. He then saw that the door was still open. "Uh oh, well, hopefully the car will be safe."

Ten minutes later, the car started up again.

"Did you get me some snacks?" Klaus questioned. "Oh, and you forgot the keys in the ignition and you left the door open." He laughed nervously. "Boy, what dummkoph moves, huh? A criminal could've just come in here and…" He gasped when he saw not Roger at the steering wheel, but the guy they were after!

He then saw Roger outside in the rearview mirror.

_"No, no, NOOOO_!" Roger screamed, spilling the snacks on the ground, and running after the car. "NOT MY FISH!" He stopped running. "Francine is going to _kill_ me, not to mention Hayley since her laptop is in there." He then saw the guy's car. His door was open and he saw that the guy left the keys in the ignition. "Well, if he stole my car, I'm going to steal his! And what kind of idiot would leave their keys in the ignition and the door open, ready for just someone to go in and just take it?" He shrugged. "Oh well!" He got in, buckled in and drove off. "_I'M COMING FOR YOU, FINS_!"

The car with the man and Klaus parked in front of a building, but not any building, it was the U.S Congress building. Klaus looked at it in awe.

This man's boss is a congressman? Klaus wondered. The man got out and took Klaus. He walked towards the building.

I wonder what this man is going to do with me. Klaus wondered to himself. The man went inside, and went to a tiny room with another man sitting at a desk. A name tag that read: 'Paul Silverman' was on the desk.

"_Happy birthday, boss!_" The man said, offering Klaus to the other man. He looked at his minion. He stood up and slapped him across the cheek. Klaus dropped to the ground. "I don't want a fish, Herman, you imbecile!" His assistant looked at him.

"But, you said you wanted one."

"Yeah, when I was in fourth grade! And I only got them just to shake them in their bags to death and flush them down the toilet when they were still alive!" Klaus gasped. He couldn't believe he just brought fish just so he could murder them. He was a fish killer like Darla from _Finding Nemo_. He shivered at the thought. Paul looked at Klaus. "But I'll keep the fish just to relive my childhood." Herman smiled. Klaus gulped. He _had _to get out of here!

"And I have a second gift for you too." Paul looked at Herman.

"_Really; what?"_

"A car!" Paul was shocked.

"_Really_? The assistant nodded.

"_Uh huh_. Now you don't have to have me or the others drive you places."

"Thanks, but I can't drive. I don't know how."

"I can teach you."

"You'd really do that for me, Herman?" Herman nodded.

"What are minions for?" He then changed the subject. "So what's the plan?" The boss then took out a scroll of parchment from out of his desk drawer. "Is that the Declaration of Independence?" Paul nodded.

"Indeed, it is."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Pretty soon I'm going to go tell Congress that if they don't make my laws into laws, I'm going to burn the Declaration of Independence." Klaus gasped. So that is what they're planning. He then wondered why they burned all of the American flags then.

"So, why did we burn American flags?" Paul groaned.

"I told you a million times! It's because we hate America."

"_Ohhhhh; right." _

"You do hate America, right?" Herman nodded.

"With a burning passion."

_I have to tell Roger about this_. Klaus thought. He inched his way to the door. He was about to go out of the door when Herman grabbed the bag.

"How did you get here, little fishy?" Herman asked. He put Klaus in a metal tray. _I sure wish Roger were here._ Klaus thought to himself. _Wow, I never thought I would think that. _

There was a knock at the door. All heads turned to see who it was. It was a woman and Roger.

"Sorry to interrupt Paul." She began. "I tried telling him to leave, but he refuses to. Shall I call security?"

"No, that's alright Bridgett." Paul told her. "We're take it from here. You just go back to your work." Bridgett nodded and left. All eyes were on Roger now.

"You stole my fish!" He began, pointing at Herman. "Not to mention my car and my laptop!"

"You have a laptop too?" Herman questioned. Roger did a face palm.

"Oh. No, I don't have a laptop in there, but if I did, you still can't have it." Paul went over to the disguised alien.

"I'm sorry that my assistant did that to you. Will you like them back?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. Yes I do want them back."

"But you see, today's my birthday and he only wanted to give me presents."

"Yeah." Herman added. "I only wanted to give him birthday presents on his birthday. I didn't have anything else." Roger looked at Paul.

"Well, that changes _everything_ then!" Paul and Herman smiled. Roger then became serious. _"Not_! Now, I want them back!"

"Well, you're not getting them. Now, get out of my office or I'll call security." Roger took out his badge and showed it to them.

"I'm Braff Zacklin from the Fins and the Legman. And I know you have the Declaration of Independence and you and your friend ordered bald eagles to burn American flags. I'll call the police and you two will go to prison."

"Is that badge real?" Herman asked. Roger shot him a look.

"That doesn't matter! You two are still going to be arrested!" Paul chuckled.

"I think not!" He said.

"Oh, _really_? You don't think I will, because I will! I have a phone to use, but when I do, you two are so busted!" He was about to go when Paul grabbed his arm. "_Hey!_ Get your dirty hands off of me!" He tried to pull away, but Paul had a firm grasp on him. He turned to his minion.

"Herman, open the closet." Herman opened the closet. Paul went to the closet with a still struggling Roger, and tossed him in. Roger was about to go back out; when Paul slammed the door in his face and locked it with a key. "STAY IN THERE UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH YOU!" Klaus heard and saw Roger pounding the door.

_"YOU CAN'T DO THIS_!" The alien yelled. "_YOU CAN'T DO THIS! LET ME OUT; LET ME OUT!_!" Paul put his key in his shirt pocket and went back to sit in his chair. Herman left the room.

Klaus looked at the key in Paul's shirt pocket then at the closet door, then at the key again.

_I have to get Roger out somehow_. Klaus thought to himself. _But, how_?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Hmmm_, Klaus thought to himself. How am I going to do this? How was he going to get the key without Paul knowing? Herman then came back into the room with many other congressmen.

_"Happy birthday to you_!" They all sang at once. Paul looked up at them. _"Happy birthday to you_." Herman put the cake down on Paul's desk. Klaus looked at the cake, smacking his lips. _MMMM_, that looks delicious; too bad I'm not allowed to have a piece. "_Happy birthday, dear Paul. Happy birthday to youuuuuu_!" Roger began pounding at the door again.

"IF YOU'RE ALL HAVING CAKE, I WANT SOME TOO!"

"What was that?" A congressman wanted to know. "Is someone else here?"

"No!" Herman told him. "_What_? Do you think we're keeping someone hostage in the closet?" He laughed. "That's crazy!" The congressman laughed too.

"Yeah, that's crazy all right. I don't know what I was thinking." Herman turned to his boss.

"Make a wish, boss." Herman told him. He gave his boss a napkin and a fork. His boss blew out all of his candles. The congressmen all cheered. Herman took out a knife.

"I'll cut the cake." He volunteered.

"Enjoy your cake." He said after the cake was cut and everybody had a piece. "We'll let you work and eat in peace." They then all left.

Paul abandoned his work and dug in at his cake. Roger pounded at the door.

_"I WANT CAKE_!" He shouted. _"I WANT CAKE!_ GIVE ME SOME CAKE!"

_"SHUT UP_!" Paul yelled. _"I'M_ THE BIRTHDAY BOY; I GET TO DECIDE WHO GET CAKE AND WHO DOESN'T AND PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ARREST ME DON'T GET CAKE!

"LOOK, I WON'T ARREST YOU! JUST OPEN THE DOOR AND GIVE ME CAKE!" The man chuckled to himself, obviously not believing him, and continued to eat.

_"GIVE ME THE STINKIN' CAKE_!"

When he was done with the cake, he stood up and the keys fell out of the pocket, and onto the floor. Paul didn't notice this. He wiped off his face with his napkin, took his plate and fork, placed the napkin inside, and left the room. Klaus saw that the keys had dropped to the floor. This was his chance!

He nudged the side of the bag with his nose to make the bag move. He made it fall to the floor. He inched towards the sharp end of the key, ripping the bag a little at the top. Once the bag had a hole in it, large enough to fit his fin through, he grabbed the keys, and moved towards the door.

_"OKAY ROGER_!" Klaus shouted. "I GOT THE KEY AND I'M IN FRONT OF THE DOOR! ALL I GOT TO DO IS UNLOCK IT SOMEHOW." He was trying to think of a way when Roger knocked the door down. It fell towards the fish. He gulped. Oh, boy. The door fell on top of him.

_"Fins_?" Roger called. "_Fins_? Where are you?"

"I'm under the door." Klaus said, his voice muffled. Roger then grabbed him.

"Oh, thank goodness you got out Roger." Klaus told him. "Because I had _no_ idea how to put the key in the lock and free you; no idea at all."

"So, getting the key was utterly pointless then." Klaus sighed.

"Pretty much. Ja; you know, you could have told me you were going to kick the door down."

"I could've, but I didn't. Now, let's get out of here."

_ "HEY_!" They turned around, and saw a steaming Paul. "How did you get out?"

_"Look!"_ Roger said, pointing to nothing in the distance. "A _decoy_!"

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"You're right. You're far too smart for that." Roger then butted Paul in the groin and ran out of the room. Grunting in pain, Paul got up and ran after him.

_"GET HIM_!" Paul shouted to his employees.

_"Look_!" Roger said to Herman. "A _decoy!"_

"What kind of dummkoph would fall for that?" Klaus asked. Herman looked for the 'decoy', and Roger ran past. Klaus sighed. "I stand corrected."

Roger ran out of the US Capital building.

"Call the police, Bridgett." Paul told her as they saw Roger driving off in Francine's car. Bridgett nodded and took out her cell phone.

They were only on the road for twenty minutes when they heard police sirens.

"Oh good; the police are here. We can tell them about Paul." Roger stopped the car and got out of the car. An officer got out as well. They walked to each other.

_"Officer_!" He started. "I know who ordered those eagles to burn many American flags and also stole the Declaration of Independence."

"Yeah, I know. You did." Roger was shocked.

_"Wait, what?_ No I didn't."

"Oh_, really_?"

"Yeah really."

"That's not what Congressman Paul Silverman says. He said you did it and you stole his car and his fish."

"And you believe him?"

"Well, yeah. He's a congressman. He wouldn't lie." He turned to the other cops coming up to them. "Cuff him, boys."

"What is wrong with the police in these stories?" The cop cuffed him and dragged him to the police cruiser. "No, no, _NOOOO_!" Klaus looked out and gasped. He pushed his way out of the car and headed towards Roger. "I didn't do it! I'm innocent I tell you; I tell you, innocent! It was that Paul guy and his friend I tell you; it was them!"

_"Yeah, yeah_." The cop said. "Tell it to the judge." Before they got Roger in the car, the alien picked Klaus up once he got there and put him in his pocket. The doors closed and when the cop got in his car, they drove off.

_ "I TELL YOU_!" Roger yelled when he was in a jail cell. He was wearing a striped shirt and matching hat. There was another inmate in the same outfit and hat with a beard. "I WAS _FRAMED_; I DIDN'T DO IT! CONGESSMAN PAUL AND HIS FRIEND DID IT!"

_"Yeah, yeah_!" Said the cop who put him in the jail cell. "You can keep saying that, but we won't believe you." He then left with the key.

_"TEST ME THEN! TEST ME WITH THE TRUTH DETECTOR! COME BACK!" _

"You can always play dead." Klaus told the alien. "To get out I mean."

"You want to get out?" A voice asked. They turned and saw the bearded man. "Because I can help. I'm planning to get out as soon as an officer gets me for my basketball game. You stick with me, and you'll be home free."

"Okay, thanks."

"Name's Dan by the way."

"Name's Braff."

"_Okay, Dan_," Said an officer, opening their cell. "Are you ready for your basket…_OOF!"_ Dan butted the officer to the floor and ran out.

"Come on!" He told Roger. Roger bolted after him.

_"WE HAVE ESCAPERS!"_ A cop shouted when they ran outside.

"_AFTER THEM_!" They ran as police officers ran after them.

"By the way." Roger began as he ran. "What were you in for?"

"I bombed a train station." Dan explained. "Killing everybody inside."

"Oh."

"I don't think we should trust this guy." Klaus whispered to Roger. "He murdered a bunch of people; that's the absolute worst crime you can do."

"_Hush, Fins_!" Roger whispered back. "I know what I'm doing."

"What are _you_ in for?" Dan asked the alien.

"I was falsely accused of telling eagles to burn people's American flags and stealing a car, a goldfish, and the Declaration of Independence." Roger explained.

"Oh. You mean you didn't really did those things?"

"No."

"Oh, because that'll be cool if you did."

The two then ran into a dead end in an alleyway. The police surrounded them.

"We have you surrounded!" An officer said. "It's no use to try and run!"

"Oh it _isn't_, is it?" Dan said. The officer nodded.

"There's too many of us and if you try to run, we'll taser you and take you back."

"Let me say one thing," Dan then pointed to Roger. "He did it!" Roger looked at him, shocked.

_"What_?!" He questioned.

"He was the one who escaped, not me. I only escaped to hunt him down and bring him back." Roger glared at Dan.

"That's a lie!" He shouted. "_Traitor_!"

"You should never trust a person in jail."

"He's right you know." Klaus whispered to Roger. "You shouldn't have trusted him."

_"Hush, Fins_." Roger whispered back. "I know."

"Well, _adios_!" Dan said. He butted an officer to the ground and ran off. The officers gasped. But before he could run out of the alleyway, another officer tasered him with his taser. Dan screamed and fell flat to the ground. Other officers helped the fallen officer to his feet. The officer next to Roger, hand cuffed him and led him to his car. More officers picked up Dan, hand cuffed him, and led him along.

"Fins," Roger whispered to him. "You still have that tracking device on you?" Klaus nodded and held up his fin to show him. "Good. Now, I need you to go back and place it on the Declaration of Independence. Then, come back with the laptop, and I'll show them the location. Once they see it with Paul, they'll know for sure that it was him and then they'll release me and put him behind bars."

"_What_?" Klaus questioned. "Go back with Paul? But Roger, I can't."

"And why not?"

"Because he's a former fish killer. Und he plans to assassinate me to relive his childhood."

"You mean he's a grown Darla from _Finding Nemo_?" Klaus nodded.

_"Uh-huh_, talk about messed up! So, you see how I can't do this?"

"You can't let fear take control Klaus. You need to do this. " Klaus grinned.

"You need me? Don't worry Roger, as long as you need me, I'll be proud to risk my life for you."

"_Yeah, yeah_!" Roger's officer noticed the disguised alien whispering to his pocket.

"Are you whispering to your pocket?" Roger looked at him and nodded.

"Yes I am; do you have a problem with that?"

"What do you have in there?"

"_What_? I have nothing in here."

"No, you have something in there; otherwise, you wouldn't be whispering to it." He reached into Roger's pocket and produced Klaus. Roger faked a sigh.

"Okay, you caught me." The officer looked at him, confused.

"You were whispering to a goldfish?"

"Yeah, I was." The officer then realized something.

"Wait a minute; you stole the Congressman's new pet fish on his birthday." Roger sighed.

"Yes, and I bet he's missing it _terribly_!" The officer just shoved him into his car.

"_Congressman Paul,"_ The officer started as he was back in Paul's office after Bridgett had led him in. "I believe this belongs to you." He handed Klaus to Paul. The officer had put Klaus in a new zip-lock bag. "He was in the man's pocket."

"Thanks."

"Just doing my job. Hope you have a good birthday." He then left.

"Oh, I will." He looked at Klaus and threw him onto his desk. He went to the drawer and took out the Declaration of Independence, looking at it, thinking hard. He then snapped his fingers as he hatched an idea.

"_Herman_!" He called. Herman came in.

"What it is, boss?" He looked at Klaus, then at his boss. "Aren't you going to kill your fish?" He asked. Klaus held his breath.

"I'll do it later." Klaus sighed in relief. "Listen, I have another birthday present you can give me." Herman just looked at his boss.

"Don't you think you have enough for this year? I mean, you have a car, a laptop, and a fish. You don't want to get greedy." Paul pounded his desk in frustration.

"_No; no_ I'm not!" He then pretended to be sad. "You don't want to disappoint your boss on his special day, do you?" Herman shook his head.

"No, sir."

"Good, change of plans. Instead of threatening Congress about our original plan, we're going to let that guy take all of the blame. Now, we're still going to go and tell Congress, but instead, we're going to say it was that guys' plan instead."

"Okay."

"Now, for my birthday present, I want you to buy me a 3D printer, we'll scan the original Declaration in it, it'll print a new one, and we'll give the archives the fake one while we keep the real one."

"But, a 3D printer is expensive! I was saving my money for a Wii U."

"Well, that's just too dang bad, isn't it? You want to keep your job, don't you?" Herman nodded. "Well, then I suggest you buy it for me." He then looked sad again. "_Please_; for my birthday!" Herman nodded again.

"Yes sir, right away sir." He then left. Paul sat back down at his desk and resumed working. Klaus scurried to the Declaration of Independence. He was about to put the tracking device on it, when Paul grabbed it.

"_Oops_!" He said to himself. "Bridgett doesn't know I have this. Don't want her to be suspicious." He put it in the drawer, locked it, and resumed his work. Klaus cursed silently to himself.

An hour later, Herman came back into the room with the 3D printer.

"I had to go to multiple stores to find one." He told Paul. "This one was the last one in stock." Paul got up and went over to him.

"_Perfect_! Let's open it up and scan the Declaration of Independence." Herman nodded and put it on the desk and opened it up as Paul got the Declaration.

Paul grabbed the fake Declaration of Independence when it was done printing and hugged it close to his chest. Herman shut off the printer. He then looked at his boss.

"What if they find out it's the fake one?" He asked. "I mean, they don't look exactly the same."

"Hopefully, they don't." Paul said.

"Yeah, but what if…"

"They _won't_, okay?" Herman gulped.

"If you say so, boss."

"Let's go to that jail and show them the 'Declaration of Independence'." Herman looked at his watch.

"_Now_? Work lets out in ten minutes. Why not then?" Paul sighed.

"Fine. We'll go then." Herman left. Paul opened the drawer and put the real Declaration of Independence inside it. Klaus went inside it before he closed it. He inched his way towards a pen in the drawer and let it rip a little at the top of his bag again. He took off the tracking device on his back and placed it on the scroll. He was about to go out when Paul closed it shut. Klaus cursed to himself. He then shrugged. Oh well. hopefully, Paul will open it again before he leaves.

Ten minutes later, Paul opened the drawer. Klaus looked up at him. _Finally!_ Although it only has been ten minutes, it seemed like a lifetime for the goldfish.

"What are you doing in there?" Paul asked. "I don't remember putting you in there." He took him out. "And let's fix that tear." He taped the tear with a bandage. "There. Now, you're coming with me…to your watery grave!" He laughed. Klaus gulped. Paul then did a face palm. "Why am I talking to a goldfish?" He shrugged. "Oh well, it's just a stupid fish; it's not like it understands a word I'm saying."

Herman came into the room.

"_Ready, boss_?" Paul looked at Herman and nodded.

"I'm ready." He took Klaus, picked up the fake and the real Declaration of Independence, and left the room with Herman.

After saying goodbye to Bridgett and the other Congressmen and Congresswomen, he and Herman left for the jail.

"I'm telling you officers," Roger said to the two police officers. They were in front of his jail cell. "I don't have the Declaration of Independence because I didn't take it. Congressman Paul does."

"I'm getting really tired of you saying that." The first policeman said.

"Well, I'm sorry." Roger told him. "But it's the truth, I'm innocent."

"And I'm getting tired of you saying _that._" The second officer said. Roger sighed. "Now, where is the Declaration of Independence?"

"Let's help him out." Paul said to Herman. They were in the entryway. The other police officers didn't notice them. Herman nodded and Paul threw the fake document. The real document was in Paul's car. The fake one landed in Roger's cell. The officers noticed it. Roger looked at the glaring officers, and laughed innocently. He gave them a nervous grin and shrugged. _"Hey_! How did _that_ get in here?" The first officer grabbed it from between the bars and opened it. He then closed it.

"Yep." He told the other officer. "This is the Declaration of Independence all right."

The two police officers glared at Roger. Roger grinned and laughed nervously.

"I know this seems bad." Roger began telling them. "But, I swear I never had it when I came in here."

"_Oh really_?" The first police officer challenged. "How did it get in your cell then?" Roger shrugged.

"I don't know. All I know is that I…"

"_Yeah; yeah_!" The second officer said. "You didn't do it. Why don't you save it for the judge? We'll keep this until your court date, then back to the Archives it goes." They then left. Paul and Herman went into Roger's face. Roger stumbled back in surprise, and then put his hands on the bars looking mad.

"What do you two want?" He wanted to know.

"Nothin'." Paul said. "I just want to thank you for taking all of the blame."

"I bet you're having fun with this." Herman nodded.

"You have that right." He told the alien. "We're having a blast!"

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but your 'fun' will come to an end." Roger said. "For after my court date, the police will no longer think I'm guilty, they'll release me, and then they'll arrest you two." The two men laughed.

"_Oh yeah_?" Paul challenged. "And what makes you say that?"

"Because I'll show them that you did all of this."

"_How_?"

"I don't know, but somehow. You can't hide this forever!" The men laughed again.

"We'll see."

"_Roger; Roger_!" Klaus whispered, waving to him from Paul's pocket. Roger took him out of the pocket as the two men left.

"That's not the real Declaration." Roger was confused.

"_What_?"

"That's the fake one that you saw. The real one is with Paul."

"What are you talking about, Fins?"

"They printed out a copy from a 3D printer."

"Okay, so did you put the tracker on the real one so that I can show the police?" Klaus nodded. "Did you bring the laptop here so that I can show them?" Klaus shook his head. Roger sighed. _"Fins_!"

"How can I do that? I can't bring a laptop here all on my own, without Paul knowing. I'm just a fish." Roger sighed again.

"You're right. I shouldn't have expected a fish to do all of that. Well, at least the tracking device is on the real one. Now the question is, how are we going to show them without the laptop?" They thought about this a while. Klaus then hatched an idea.

"We can still do it." Roger looked at the fish.

"_How_?"

"The tracking number! We can type it in and then it'll show us it's exact location. All we need to do is get onto a computer or a laptop from here."

"That's a wonderful plan!" Klaus smiled.

"Thank you. Glad you like it."

"There's just one flaw with that plan." Klaus looked confused.

"_Really; what_?"

"How are we going to get out of here and get onto a computer without anyone knowing?" Klaus realized he was right.

"Oh, right." He sighed. "Never thought of that." Roger sighed.

"Of course you didn't."

"Dinner time!" An officer said to Roger as he opened the jail cell door and placed Roger's soup and water down on the ground. Roger looked at the soup, then at the officer.

"It's dinner time, already?" He asked. The officer nodded. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised. It was evening when I came in here."

"It's not usually dinner. But since you got here an hour after dinner time; we wouldn't want you to feel left out." Roger pretended to be touched.

"_Aw_; you're so thoughtful of criminals." The officer shrugged.

"Well, I try my best. Criminals got to eat to, no matter how horrible their crime might be."

"True that." Klaus nudged Roger in the sides. Roger looked down at him. Klaus gestured with his fins towards the open door. Roger understood what he was conveying.

"_Oh_! The door!" As the officer was about to go out, Roger ran out.

"_Hey!"_ The officer shouted. He was about to go after him, when Roger closed the door in his face. The officer pounded on the bars. "Let me out!" Roger took the keys out of the lock, and looked at the officer.

"_Sorry_!" He apologized. "There's something I got to do first." And with that, he went off. The officer continued on pounding the bars, angry.

"_YOU COME BACK HERE AND LET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!_"

Roger ran to the offices, looking for one that was vacant.

"Come _on_!" He said. "Is every police officer in their office?" Klaus noticed one that was vacant.

"There's an empty one."

"_Where_?" Klaus pointed to the far corner.

"_There;_ in the far corner!"

"Good eye, Fins!"

"Well, I try my best."

_"There he is_!" A voice shouted. Roger turned around and saw the officer who he had trapped and other officers. They ran to him.

_"RUN!"_ Klaus yelled. The fish didn't need to tell him twice; he ran for it and ran inside. As the officers came closer. Roger slammed the door into their faces. He then dragged a chair in front of the door, hearing their shouts and pounding.

_"Quick_!" Klaus said. "The computer."

"You don't need to tell me, Fins." The alien ran towards the computer and looked at the screen. "Ooh, naughty, naughty! This officer is going to get fired!" The poundings and shouts grew louder.

"_Hurry,_ Roger!" Roger exited out of the website and went to a tracking website.

"What's the tracking number?"

"The tracking number?"

"Yeah; I need one so I know the location."

"I-I can't remember." Roger looked down at Klaus.

"What you mean you can't remember? This is crucial information, Klaus. If we don't know where to go; we're sunk. _Think_!" Klaus thought about it. "_Think!"_

"I'm _thinking_!"

"Well think _harder;_ we don't have much time." Klaus thought hard; searching deep for the number in his brain. What was it?

_"KLAUS_!" Klaus then had it.

_"Aha_; I have it!"

"Good; now tell me!"

Klaus told Roger the number and Roger typed it in.

"_AHA_!" Roger said when he had the location. "There you are!" The door then burst open. Roger and Klaus looked up.

_"RUN_!" Roger yelled. He quickly folded the laptop, grabbed it, and bolted to the door.

Roger ran from the officers.

_ "DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY_!" An officer shouted after them. They ran and ran. Roger ran and ducked in an alleyway. He quickly looked at the screen. He ran into the police parking lot, picked up a rock, and threw it at the first police car he saw as hard as he could. He then grabbed a nearby stick.

"What are you _doing?!"_ Klaus wanted to know as they got in and Roger shut the door behind them. Roger used the stick to break into the steering column.

"I'm breaking in a police car." Roger answered. "And I'm going to hot-wire it."

_"Why?!_ Have you gone completely _crazy?_! You may get longer time for this!" Roger did the wires next when he was done with the steering column. He put the stick aside.

"Maybe. But, I have to show them where the _real_ Declaration is." Klaus saw that the police running towards them. His eyes widened.

"_Mach schell_, Roger! They're running this way!"

"Have you ever hot wired a car before? I'm going as fast as I can." He got done with the wires. "There." He buckled up, broke the steering lock, and started the engine.

"I don't know you." Klaus said. "That's what I'll say to the police when asked about you."

"And what will they say when they hear a fish talking?"

"Good point. But, I still won't know you."

_"Hush, Fins_, and get ready for the ride of your life!" With that, Roger drove off like a jet. Klaus screamed.

"Are they following us, Fins?"

"I don't know."

"Well, _check_!" Klaus looked at the back windows and saw a trail of police cars after them.

"Yep; they'll following us."

"Good. Keep an eye on them." Roger hit the gas pedal and they sped up. Klaus screamed louder.

"YOU'RE BREAKING _A LOT_ OF TRAFFIC LAWS!"

"Good; whatever gets us there faster." Klaus screamed and screamed.

When Paul got to his house, he noticed the tracker device on the Declaration. He picked it up and looked at it.

"What's this?" He asked himself. "Is this a tracking device?" He then threw it into the nearby bushes. He went inside his house.

Roger stopped the car as soon as they were in front of the Paul's house. Klaus breathed heavily. Roger picked up Klaus.

"Come on!" He said, putting him in his pocket. He grabbed the laptop and carried it to the house. He looked at the screen of the laptop. "_Hmmm,_ it doesn't look like it's in the house." He looked around. "But, then, where would it be?" Klaus noticed something in the bushes.

"_Wait!_" He cried, pointing to the bushes. "I think I see the tracking device in those bushes." Roger went into the bushes and picked up the device.

_"Hmmm_, you're right. But if the tracker device is here, then where…"

_"Looking for this_?" Roger turned around and there stood Paul, Declaration of Independence in hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Meanwhile, in the Smith household, Hayley went over to her mom who was vacuuming.

"_MOM_!" She shouted over the roar of the vacuum. "_WHERE'S YOUR CAR? I THINK MY LAPTOP'S IN THERE!" _

"_WHAT_? Francine shouted, puzzled, looking up at her.

"_I SAID_…" Francine turned of the vacuum so she could hear her daughter clearly. Hayley continued. "I asked about your car's location. I think my laptop's in there."

"Roger has it." Francine answered. "He and Klaus took it with them." Hayley looked disappointed and sighed.

"Okay. I hope Roger doesn't do anything bad to it."

"And I hope Roger doesn't wreak my car."

"Well with Roger there's no guarantee."

"True. But we have to hope."

"I hope they come soon."

"Me too. Let's hope together." And with that, Francine continued on vacuuming, and Hayley left to get a snack from the kitchen.

"You won't get away with this!" Roger shouted. Paul chuckled.

"I won't, won't I?" He said.

"No, you won't." Paul chuckled again.

"We'll see." The police then came. Roger pointed to Paul.

"Arrest him, officers!" An officer grabbed Roger's wrists and handcuffed him. "No, no; don't arrest me. Paul's the one that you want." The officer didn't respond, obviously tired of hearing this, Paul then noticed Klaus in Roger's pocket.

"Why do you always have my stupid fish in your pocket?!" He demanded to know. The officer took Klaus out of the alien's pocket, and handed it to Paul.

"Thank you." Paul thanked.

"He's not your stupid fish." Roger shouted at Paul. "He's my stupid fish that you stole!"

"_That's a lie_! You _stole_ him from me. And why do you want this fish so badly, huh?"

"It's complicated! Why do _you_ want him so badly?"

"Because he's _my_ pet and he was given to me by my friend." He looked at Klaus.

"_Don't worry_!" He told him, making sure no one else could hear. "Once I kill you, he won't want to steal you, _ever_!" Klaus gulped; feeling sick to his stomach. Roger looked at the officers.

"He just wants my fish just so he can kill him." The officers gasped. "Once we leave him alone with my fish, he's going to shake him or do something worse."

"So, he's a fish killer?" An officer wanted to know. "Like Darla from _Finding Nemo?_" Roger nodded.

"_Uh-huh_! Only he's going to kill him on purpose!"

"Getting a pet fish just so you can kill it?" Another officer piped up. "That's just sick!"

"I know, right?" He then pointed at the Declaration of Independence in Paul's hand. "And there's the Declaration of Independence!" An officer snorted.

_"Yeah, right_!" He said. "We saw it in your cell. Don't lie to us."

"But that wasn't the Declaration of Independence! That was a copy that he made from a 3D printer."

"Do you think we, the police force, are that stupid to not recognize the original from a copy?"

"Apparently yes. Yes I do think you're that stupid." The officers gasped.

"_That's it!"_ The officer said, red in the face. "For insulting the police, you have extra jail time!"

"_NOOOOOOOO_!" Roger screamed as he was being taken away.

"And don't worry!" Paul called after them. "I'll take real good care of the fish!" Klaus saw his evil grin and the evil glint in his eye. He gulped.

_I got to fix this_. Klaus thought to himself. He jumped himself out of Paul's hand and pushed the Declaration out of his grasp.

_"Hey_!" Paul said. Klaus began to push the document towards an officer. An officer noticed this and gasped in amazement.

"Well, would you take a look at that." He said. The other officers noticed this. Klaus pushed it towards the closet officer's feet, and pushed into his feet.

"_Oliver_!" The officer who first noticed Klaus told him. "I think the fish wants to show you something." Oliver nodded in disbelief and bent down to pick it up.

_"Don't_!" Paul shouted. Oliver looked at him.

"Why don't you want Oliver to look at it?" An officer asked. "Is there something you want to hide from us, the police?"

"It's personal."

"If it's personal, Oliver will not say it out loud. It'll be safe with him, but apparently, there might be something fishy going on here if this fish is acting fishy." He turned to Oliver. "Read it, Oliver."

Oliver nodded and was about to read it when Paul ran and butted him in the groin. The officers gasped and helped him up.

"What is it with butting people to the ground today?" An officer questioned.

_"AFTER HIM_!" Another officer demanded, who was the police chief. He pointed at the running Paul. The officer who cuffed Roger went to his car with him. Another officer picked up Klaus.

"_Hey_!" He called. "You forgot your fish!" He ran after the others.

"Stay here." Roger's officer told him. He shoved him into his car and ran off. Roger looked at the door, which was still ajar. He laughed to himself.

"Stupid officer." He was about to go out when the officer came back.

"Sorry." He apologized. "I forgot to shut the door." He shut the door and locked it. He ran off.

_"Darn it_!" Roger cursed. "I'm missing all of the action!" He moved to the back seat so he could see out of the back window.

"_YOU'LL NEVER GET ME OFFICERS_!" Paul yelled as he ran into a busy street with the officers chasing him. Paul laughed and laughed. He wasn't watching where he was going and a car was headed straight towards him. He turned and screamed as the car rammed into him. The car stopped and Paul fell to the ground. Officers ran to the fallen Paul. The man who was driving the car was none other then Dan! He honked and pulled down his window of the stolen car.

"_HEY_!" He shouted. "CAN'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING?" An old lady ran to the officer.

"Excuse me." She told him. She pointed to the car. "I was just leaving from my sewing circle with my girls, when I noticed that guy driving away in my car."

"Don't worry, ma'am." The officer assured her. "I'll handle this." Dan noticed the police officer.

"_SHOOT_!" He cursed. He was about to drive off when the officer ran to him.

"You better step out of the car." He warned Dan. "I already saw you. It's

useless to drive away." Dan sighed and got out. The police officer shoved him to the car and cuffed his wrists behind him.

An officer picked up the Declaration.

_"Don't_!" Paul managed to say before fainting. The officer unraveled it and read it. His eyes grew huge. He looked at his companions.

"That guy might be telling the truth." He told them. "Let's go to the station and compare." The other officers nodded. The officer bent down to Paul. "Is he going to make it?" The officer examining Paul looked at him and nodded.

"I think so." He replied. "But we need to take him to the hospital." The Chief stood up.

"Okay Joseph. You and some of the others take him to the hospital and the rest of us will go back to the station." Joseph nodded and he and some other officers helped Paul to his feet. The Chief then noticed who was operating the car that hit Paul. The officer who cuffed Dan looked at him.

"And _you_ are going back to the slammer." He told him. "Don't worry; we'll put a guard on you 24/7, to make sure you never try to break out again." Dan gave a fake smile.

_"Great!"_ He said in a sarcastic tone. He took him away.

_"HEY_!" The officer that had Klaus shouted. "DO YOU WANT YOUR FISH?" But it was too late, the officer with Paul already left in his police car. The officer shrugged. Oh well, I'll give it to him when he gets out." And with that, he went to his car.

The officer that had Dan, opened up the passenger door that had Roger already in it. He looked at Dan.

"_Hey, man_!" Roger said. "How it going? Killed anybody lately?" Dan snarled at him when he was shoved in. "_Uh_, officer? Are you sure you want to place me with a murderer?"

"Don't worry," The officer told him. "I can look at you two through the rearview mirror; I'll make sure you don't get murdered in my car."

"But shouldn't you keep your eyes on the road? You're a police officer; you should know that." The officer nodded.

"You're right." He agreed. He looked around. All of the other police cars were gone. "But all of the other cars are already gone. So, hopefully, you won't get murdered so that I don't have to wipe off all the blood." He shut the door and went to the driver's seat.

_"You know_," Roger spoke to Dan. "This is what you get for betraying me before." Dan glared at him.

"Shut up." Was his only response.

_"Okay_," The police chief began when they were back at the station in his office. The officer that had Roger held him firmly, so he wouldn't get away. Dan was in his jail cell with a guard keeping a sharp eye on him. Next to the Chief was someone from the Archives. On the desk were the two declarations. "The moment of truth is here." He pointed to the guy next to him. "This is Robert."

_"Hello_!" Robert greeted with a friendly wave.

"Hi, Robert!" The officers and Roger greeted back.

"And Robert's from the National Archives." The Chief continued. "He worked there for forty years, staring when he was 17. So he knows what the Declaration looks like." The Chief looked at Robert. "So, Robert, tell us. Which of these is the real Declaration of Independence and which one is the fake." Robert looked at the two Declarations. It didn't take long for him to choose. He picked up the fake.

"It's this one." He told them. Everyone did surprised gasps.

"Are you sure, Robert?" The Chief asked. Robert looked at him, and hesitated like it pained him to do it. Finally, he nodded.

"I'm completely sure." He replied. "I know a fake from a mile away." The chief shrugged.

"Well, if you're sure." He looked at his comrades. "Okay you heard him. Looks like we had the fake one all along." He pointed at Roger. "Lock him up!"

_"NOT AGAIN_!" Roger screamed as he was being dragged away. _"NOOOOOOOOOOO_!" Klaus did a fin to the face, shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe that this just happened. He thought for sure that Robert was going to put an end to all of this. There had to be a mistake. Why would an expert from the National Archives lie? Unless he was bribed, but he was too smart for that, right?

The man carrying Klaus went to get water from the water fountain. When he was done, he went off.

Klaus was back in Paul's possession in his house on the kitchen counter the next morning. Paul was picking out his breakfast from the fridge. Klaus wondered why Paul hasn't murdered him yet, but at the same time, was relieved. There was a knock at the door and Paul closed the fridge and set down the cereal he wanted next to the fish. He went to the door. He opened it and in came Robert. _Robert_? Klaus wondered. What was he doing here? He moved closer to them.

"I did what you said." Robert told Paul. "So, where's the money you promised?"

_"What_?" Paul asked.

"The money that you promised me that I'll get if I lie to the police about the Declarations." Klaus gasped. So, it _was _a bribe!

"Yeah, about that. I lied." Robert looked at him in shock.

"_What_?"

"I lied. I just told you I'll give you money so you'd do what I want." Robert got mad at him.

"Now you look here Paul! We had a deal. I shouldn't have trusted you."

"You're right; you shouldn't have trusted me. But now it's too late."

"I'm going to tell the police about this." He was about to turn to go, when Paul took out a gun from his pocket and pointed it at him. Robert's eyes widened.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Paul threatened. Robert gasped and his eyes widened. He held up his hands.

"Now, I don't want any trouble." Robert said. Paul cocked the gun.

"I don't want any trouble either." He agreed. "But that all depends on you how all of this will go out."

_I have to call 911_. Klaus thought to himself. _But if I call 911, will it be too late? Oh, what's a fish to do?_ Fortunately, he didn't have to worry, for the door suddenly flung open. Everybody looked to see a horde of police officers storm in. Two of them surrounded Paul and placed him in handcuffs.

_"WHAT THE_…" Paul questioned. "What is this all about?"

"Oh, sorry." The chief apologized. "Paul Silverman, you are under arrest."

"For what?"

"Don't play dumb. You know what you did." An officer went over to Robert, who was breathing heavily, clutching his heart.

"You okay?" He asked him. Robert nodded.

"Yeah." He answered. "A little shaken up through. I could've been shot today."

"We know. We saw the gun pointed at you through the window while we finished chasing down an escapee. Luckily, we made it just in time."

"I'll say." Robert then told him about the Declaration of Independence.

Paul's officers led him out of the house and into the car where Dan was yet again. The car drove off. The officer with Robert went outside with him. He made sure that he was indeed all right. He then left when Robert assured him that he was fine. Robert hesitated a bit before going to his own car and drove off.

_"Hey_!" Dan said to Paul. "You're the guy that I hit with that old bag's car yesterday."

"Shut up." Paul told him. But Dan didn't shut up.

"You know you shouldn't have ran into the street like that."

"Shut up."

"I could've killed you, you kn…" Paul shot him a look.

_"I SAID SHUT UP!" _

"No fighting back there, you two!" The driver warned. Dan fell silent and the two didn't talk to each other after that. He did talk up to the policemen through.

"You know," He started. "If I haven't escaped, you wouldn't have caught this guy. I say that's a call for an early release, huh?"

_"Keep dreaming_, Dan." The officer responded. "_Keep dreaming_."

An officer stayed behind to pick up Klaus on the counter..

"Hey, little fella." He greeted. He noticed the rip. "Hey; your bag's ripped. We'll fix that right up at the station." And with that, he too, went off.

The doorbell rang at Herman's house. Herman got it and saw it was the police.

"Can I help you officers?" He asked.

"Yes," An officer answered. "Are you Herman Simone?"

"Yes." Herman answered.

"You are under arrest for assisting your partner, Paul Silverman's plot for stealing the Declaration of Independence." His companions came in and cuffed Herman's wrists. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say may be in court."

"I'm sure Paul didn't tell you that he told me to train all of those bald eagle to burn those flags in Virginia." The police officers gasped. Herman realized what he's just done. "Shoot! That was suppose to be in my head." He then grinned innocently at the officers and then looked determined. "You're not arresting me! I have a family." He butted the officer to the floor. The officer closet to Herman tasered him to the floor.

At the police station, the Chief radioed to let Roger go. Roger went to him.

"About _time _you idiots realized that I didn't do it!"

"Well, I'm sorry that we arrested you." The Chief said to him. "We scheduled the court date a week from today." Roger was impressed.

_"Wow; already_?" The Chief nodded.

"Yeah, already. And what did you call us earlier?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Okay then." He handed Roger a piece of paper. "You can go home now. Your car is up front. Just remember to come to court in a week." Roger looked at the paper and saluted.

"Will do!" He was about to go when he remembered something. "Say, can I have my fish back?" The Chief looked at him.

"Sure." He replied. "Paul's going to go to prison so he won't be needing it. I'll just go get him."

"Thanks." Roger waited as the Chief went off.

The Chief came back with Klaus minutes later. Klaus' zip lock bag was re-bandaged. He took the fish to the alien.

"Here you are." Roger took Klaus from him.

"Thanks.""

"Officer Ben kind of wanted the fish to give to his two sons."

"Well that's too bad, because he's mine and he can't have him."

"I'll make sure to tell Ben that."

"You do that." He then left with Klaus.

_"I'm home!_" Roger announced when he came into the Smith Household.

"Und so am I!" Klaus added. Roger looked down at him.

"No one cares, okay?" This made Klaus frown. Hayley ran up to Roger. She was about to ask about her computer, when Roger beat her to it. "Oh, and Hayley. You left your laptop in your mom's car. Don't worry, I only used it once. Nothing that you'll be mad about."

"Good, because if you did, you and Klaus will be dead."

"Why me?" Klaus asked. "I didn't touch your computer."

"Oh, then just Roger then."

"How's my car?" Francine wanted to know.

"Good."

"Good, because if you wreaked my car, you and Klaus will be dead."

"Again," Klaus said. "Why me? I wasn't the one driving."

"Oh sorry. Force of habit." Stan then came in. Francine went to her husband's side.

"So, are you done with your eagle hunt?" She asked. Stan nodded.

_"Yup_!" He responded. "They found the guy who made those eagles burn the American flags and found the Declaration of Independence and just in time for Independence Day." Francine smiled.

"That's_ great_, honey!" She kissed him on the cheek. "Welcome home."

"No, thank the _police_ for getting that guy and his friend behind bars. I might've accidently killed a bald eagle when I heard the news by rapid firing my gun in the air."

"Und you blamed us." Klaus piped up. Stan looked at him.

"No I didn't. I simply put you as well as everybody else, even myself, on the suspect list. _Big _difference." Klaus rolled his eyes.

_"Riiiigggghhhhhttttt_."

"Oh, before I forget." Roger said. He handed the piece of paper to Francine. Francine and Stan looked at it. They looked at Roger. "I have to go to court a week from today." He cracked his knuckles. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my bar to award me for a job well done." He went upstairs.

"Can I have wine too?" Klaus wanted to know.

"Sure, whatever." Klaus smiled.

Court day has arrived. The entire Smith family went, even Steve who had come back from his camping trip. Klaus went to in Roger's pocket. Roger won the case. Paul said he hated America so much because Congress disagreed on a law he wanted. He said that's why he had trained eagles burning down American flags and also stole the Declaration of Independence. He was sentenced for twenty years in prison and was fired from his job. Herman was also fired and sentenced for only ten years. Bridgett was mad at Paul as well as the other congressmen and congresswomen and agreed on never wanting to see Paul or Herman ever again. Roger got a cop fired after telling the others what he did on his laptop.

After coming home from court, Roger took Klaus up to the attic for another award of wine. Steve was mad that Roger had gone on another mystery without him.

"The author hates me." Steve concluded, sitting on a stool in Roger's bar.

"Oh, come on." Roger told Steve. "The author doesn't hate you. If she hated you, she wouldn't have made you the star of the story with you thinking that you shot Snot."

"Please don't remind me."

"The author just likes me more." Klaus put in. Steve just looked at him.

"Just drink your adult drink." Klaus saluted.

_"Aye-aye_!" And with that, he continued drinking. "You know what mystery we should do next?" Everybody looked at him.

"_What_?" Roger wanted to know.

"We should find out what the fox says." Everybody looked annoyed. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Yeah! It's an ancient mystery. Will we ever know? Just drink your adult drink."

"No, really. I'd like to know. What does the fox say?" Roger just ignored him and just kept on drinking with his family. "_Come on!_ What does the fo…" Roger put down his glass, mad.

"You want to know what it says? _Here_ is what the fox says!" And with that, he began dancing, singing, and shouting weird, obscure lyrics. He picked up his glass when done. "_There, satisfied_?" Klaus nodded, his mouth agape.

"Ja." He answered. "Just do not do that again." And with that, he too, continued to drink his 'adult drink.'


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue

Klaus was the only one who watched the world cup on the last day of the cup. It was Germany vs. Argentina. Germany had won in over time, 1-0.

_ "WHOO-HOO_!" Klaus cheered, jumping in his bowl like a performing dolphin. "Germany won! Way to score the winning goal Miroslav Klose!" He turned to his family who all came in to see what all the commotion was about. "Now, as I promised, champagne for everyone!" Steve beamed. Klaus noticed this. "Who's over 21." Steve frowned in disappointment.

"But Klaus," He started. "Isn't the drinking age different in Germany?"

"Ja, but we're not in Germany, we're in America!"

"Cheer up Steve." Hayley told her brother. "You're be 21 before you know it."

"Easy for you to say Hayley." Steve said to her. "You're so lucky that you're older so you can drink sooner. And don't you drink now, despite being underage?" Hayley nodded.

"I used to. But then my kidney got severely damaged and I had to go to the hospital. That's why there are laws on alcohol consumption."

"Yeah. And you learned your lesson after that, didn't you Hayley?" Hayley smiled.

"Shut up, Steve."

And so Francine and Klaus went to the liquor store to buy bottles of champagne and the Smiths (those over 21) celebrated Germany's victory by drinking the night away.


End file.
